CoffeeWars 4: Official Announcement

The following is the complete text of the original announcement for CoffeeWars 4. Why is it here? Well, I had it lying around.

Date: 7/23/2003
Subject: CoffeeWars IV: Let's Get Rrready to Brrreeeeew!

Let it be known!  DefCon is just around the corner,
and you don't want to sleep through it.  In fact,
maybe you don't want to sleep AT ALL.

According to the Ancients, it is written that on the
first day of the con, the coffee-drinking faithful
shall gather to sample the nectar of the Bean, and
vie for the title of finest brew.  That's right, folx:

           1, 2, 3, 4
           I declare a CoffeeWar!

Thus begins the majestic splendor of CoffeeWars IV 
(that's the number, not the method of ingestion).  
Don't miss your once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to 
participate in this, the fourth all-out coffee battle.  
Don't neglect your duty, pay respect to all the coffee 
warriors who have fallen in the past.  Don't be a 
dingbat: be one of us.

=-=-=-=-=- wh0s3 cuIsin3 wi11 r3ign sUpr3m3? -=-=-=-=-=-=
Do you like coffee?  Have you always felt that the
coffee you drink is the One True Way to begin the day,
and that all other beverages are for slack-jawed yokels?

Do you, punk?  Well, bring it on.

That's right: you bring your beans.  We will grind them,
brew them, and sample them together.  The elite panel of
judges (and where else but DefCon do you find a panel of
judges who actually *are* elite?) will rate them.

The winner will be announced on the Wide Web, which is
some sort of a computer thing.  If all goes well, the
winner will also be announced sooner, at the DefCon 
closing ceremony on Sunday, and there shall be honor 

=-=-=-=- No cream -=- No sugar -=- Straight up -=-=-=-=-=
The first rule of CoffeeWars is you do NOT submit decaf.
The second rule of CoffeeWars is you do NOT submit
     flavored beans.
The third rule of CoffeeWars is you do NOT ask questions
     about registration, talks, schedule, or anything not
     related to CoffeeWars: WE DON'T KNOW... WE JUST WANT
     TO DRINK COFFEE.  And vote on it.  Oh, yes.  We will
     vote on it.
The fourth rule of CoffeeWars is that if you do not
     enter any coffee, you are not guaranteed a drink.
     We don't mind sharing, but the judges must be able
     to do their jobs, after all, so you take your 
Judges will be appointed at staff discretion; votes cast
     by non-judges will be used in the event of a tie.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Other Nonsense -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Now in its fourth year, CoffeeWars has established its
reputation as the world's most important hacker coffee
ceremony.  We are now an official DefCon event (thanks,
DT & BlackBeetle!):
Visit the real-live web site maintained by the event's
founder (all hail, Rob!):
Visit the write-up of last year's results:

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Call to Action -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The world trembles with anticipation.  The staff
trembles from withdrawals.  Amidst all the trembling,
momentous questions await answers:

* Will Jamaican Blue Mountain >ever< lose?
* Does your coffee have what it takes to go head to
   steamy black head with the best?
* Can the CoffeeWars staff get it together enough to
   run a coherent event?

Don't be a nincompoop: be there!  And bring your beans.
And your favorite mug, if you are so inclined.

Pass it on.

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